i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
