Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
