The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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