you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
whose parrot is this?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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