I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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