I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize