I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
pop tarts are not kleenex
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
