Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
