I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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