and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
