I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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