I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
