I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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