I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
