South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
