I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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