Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
