Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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