I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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