you win again, gameday.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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