I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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