I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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