Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
