When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
