yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Girls should come with a carfax report
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
