and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
did i walk over a car last night?
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Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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