ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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