If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize