But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
