i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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