do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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