I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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