At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
