good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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