hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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