Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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