I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
