Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The struggles of a small town man whore
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
