His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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