Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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