Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
