Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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