Can i not drive my cunt home
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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