He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
