i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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