Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
