i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I believe in your delicious
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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