the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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