weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Someone shattered a urinal.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
