Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
