Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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