Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
