No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want to make out with him forever
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
