I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
