Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
