Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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