I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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