even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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