3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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