You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
