I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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