I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
