i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
