I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
