with your own penis?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
