we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
