Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
